Top 22 Funny Inspirational Quotes About Coffee.

The best, funny inspirational quotes about coffee. When you wash your hands, when you make a cup of coffee, when you’re waiting for the elevator – instead of indulging in thinking, these are all opportunities for being there as a still, alert presence.

1. I make a mean cup of coffee if you give me the right ingredients.

I make a mean cup of coffee, if you give me the right ingredients. Ice Cube

Ice Cube

2. History happens as soon as I pick up my coffee cup – it happened 30 seconds ago. It’s history.

History happens as soon as I pick up my coffee cup - it happened 30 seconds ago. It's history.

Margot Lee Shetterly

3. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Abraham Lincoln

4. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Steven Wright

5. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Steven Wright

6. If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

Mae West

7. When you wash your hands, when you make a cup of coffee, when you’re waiting for the elevator – instead of indulging in thinking, these are all opportunities for being there as a still, alert presence.

When you wash your hands, when you make a cup of coffee, when you're waiting for the elevator - instead of indulging in thinking, these are all opportunities for being there as a still, alert presence.

Eckhart Tolle

8. The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.

8. The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.

John D. Rockefeller

9. I’m an early riser. I get up between five and six, have coffee, and read for a couple of hours before everyone else gets up.

 I'm an early riser. I get up between five and six, have coffee, and read for a couple of hours before everyone else gets up.

David Bowie

10. I never had any coffee or anything like that. I just never tried it.

 I never had any coffee or anything like that. I just never tried it.

Tom Brady

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11. Sometimes I sound like gravel, and sometimes I sound like coffee and cream.

Sometimes I sound like gravel, and sometimes I sound like coffee and cream.

Nina Simone

12. Those who use tobacco, tea, and coffee should lay these idols aside, and put their cost into the treasury of the Lord.

Those who use tobacco, tea and coffee should lay these idols aside, and put their cost into the treasury of the Lord.

Ellen G. White

13. I can’t do coffee, but I can do Dr. Pepper.

I can't do coffee, but I can do Dr. Pepper.

Cher

14. I like really hot coffee, not too strong.

I like really hot coffee, not too strong.

Patti Smith

15. Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Dave Barry

16. A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

Garrison Keillor

17. Before Starbucks, there wasn’t as much of a coffeehouse routine; we generally drank really cruddy diner coffee.

Before Starbucks, there wasn't as much of a coffeehouse routine; we generally drank really cruddy diner coffee.

Andrew Yang

18. I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.

I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.

Jennifer Lopez

19. Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Gerard Way

20. Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

Edward Abbey

21. Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

Alphonse Allais

22. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

T.S. Eliot

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