TOP 15+ BEST ANTHROPOLOGY JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

Find The Best Funny Anthropology Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Anthropology Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • A caveman walks into an auditorium

He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, “Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn’t start for another hour. You’re early, man.”

  • A joke I’ve picked up from working in Higher Education.

At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and crash into oncoming traffic. It’s a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims…

“Oh the Humanities!”

  • Three anthropologists get captured by a tribe of cannibals…

The chieftain proclaims to them: “You shall head out into the jungle, and each bring me a dozen pieces of any one fruit, or else we will eat you!”

The three head out. After an hour, the first one returns, carrying 12 Bananas. The chief looks at them with pleasure and says: “And now I want you to insert all those fruits into your bumhole while remaining completely silent! If you make any sound at all, we will kill you!”

The first banana goes in silently, the second one too, but on the third one, he groans a little, and he is killed promptly.

Waiting at the pearly gates, he is soon joined by his first colleague. He asks: “Why are you here? I saw you return with tiny berries in your hand just before I was killed. Those couldn’t have been too challenging!” The other replies: “Well, it was all fine and dandy, but as I was popping in the eleventh berry, I saw Bob return with pineapples and couldn’t hold my laughter!”

  • Why shouldn’t you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

  • An anthropologist visits a tribe that eats only meat…

An anthropologist visits an exclusively carnivorous tribe in previously uncharted deep-jungle territory and word gets around about this strange woman who eats plants.

M’buk says to T’gru, “Have you heard about this woman who eats *plants?*”

T’gru gets this puzzled look and says “no, I’ve never heard of herbivore!”

  • Anthropologists found a group of people whose religion forbids them from being angry

They’re called the Nomads

  • Why did the anthropologist eat a lot of yogurt?

So that he could understand culture.

BEST FUNNY JUDGE JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

  • Population Growth

A small town with a high birth rate attracted the attention of a team of university sociologists. They wrote a grant proposal, got a chunk of money, hired aides and an anthropologist, found a family planning and birth control specialist, moved to town, rented offices, set up their computers, and designed questionnaires.


On the first full day of work, the project director went out for a cup of coffee. The waitress, knowing he was not a local, asked why he was in town.


He explained and then asked her if she had any idea why the birth rate was so high.


To his surprise, she replied, “Sure. Every morning the six o’clock train comes through here and blows for the crossing, waking everybody up. It’s too late to go back to sleep and it’s too early to get up!”

  • Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren’t available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenarians. And anthropologists report–but, of course, discount–stories of village elders living for 150 years, 200 years, or more.

There are weirder stories, incredible enough to be consigned to footnotes in academic texts: that the shaman of Jimbilum arrived in that community in 1872, already impossibly old, and was dispensing advice, justice, and herbal remedies well until the late 1990s. His cause of death is assumed to be exposure: he left the village one night and was never seen again. Implausibly, residents of Ngunulum claim that their shaman–who, again, departed without a word, some time in early 1960s–claimed to have been personally acquainted with William Dampier, a man who last set foot in Australia in 1688.

I try to be careful with extreme claims, so I’m not going to say that every Aboriginal shaman is immortal. I will, though, go so far as to say that there’s not a single verifiable case of one of them dying.

It gets stranger.

Like many traditional faith healers, shamans follow a number of special rules and taboos. You have the usual prayers, incantations, and prohibitions, and one especially odd dietary fixation: shamans insist on drinking a broth made by boiling water and adding chunks of koala meat.

This is not a minor rule. The departure of the shaman of Jimbilum, for example, coincided with the Australian Department of Environment’s launching of a poaching investigation. Ngunulum’s spiritual leader left after a long drought led to the death of the region’s last remaining koalas.

There is no record of an Aboriginal shaman dying; there is no record of an Aboriiginal shaman going a day without drinking water that’s been steeped in koala flesh and boiled.

I had to investigate.

You’re familiar with the Dark Web, right? (Don’t kid me–of course you are.) I opened an account on one of the lesser-known sites, one that ignored narcotics and credit cards, in favor of more exotic goods. For .275 bitcoin (shipping included), I had a sample of freshly-harvested koala meat en route.

After two weeks, I was pretty sure I’d been had. And pretty sure I deserved it, too. How much time and money should a grown adult spend investigating third-hand reports–and violating endangered species laws on several continents, to boot?
But then, on Monday, a package arrived. Lumpy, misshappen, sealed with three different kinds of tape, it felt strangely heavy and cool to the touch.

I opened it.

The roiling steam looked a lot less dramatic when I realized that, obviously, when you ship meat intercontinentally, you pack it with dry ice.

The koala looks smaller on your kitchen counter than it looks in pictures. I’ve seen lots of pictures of koalas, and always thought they looked cute, but never tasty. The impression doesn’t improve in person.

But it was too late to turn back. I’d already set some water to boil. I stashed most of the koala in the freezer, and sliced off a toe.

In 1927, anthropologist Ursula McConnel recorded a list of rituals of the Wik Mungkan. Among them, the ceremonial boiling of a water infused with koala bits. Exactly 1.2 liters, exactly 3 hours. I followed her recipe to the letter.

And it was DISGUSTING. The foulest, nastiest thing I’d ever tasted. It coats your tongue and lacerates your nostrils and the taste stays with you for hours and the memory is with me still. If this was the route to immortality, maybe dying was a better option.

But I wasn’t finished with my research. I pored over my books and papers, looking for more information on the ritual, and found that it was, in fact, permissible to fiddle with the recipe. Shamans in different regions had different spins on the concoction: as long as you boiled the water long enough, and used genuine koala, the other ingredients didn’t matter.

After some experimentation, I’ve found exactly the right mix of flavorings to make it about as tasty as any other beverage.

I guess you could say this really improved my koala tea of life.

  • A French man and an Irish man walk into a bar.
OMG!  The 20+ Best Gliding Jokes Collection For This Week

The French guy asks his friend: “say, how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?”.

The Irish replies: “how would I know? I’m neither an electrician nor an anthropologist!”

  • Pavlov’s Hair

Q: Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? 

A: He conditioned it.

  • Smithsonian Humor

Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078

Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull.” We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents “conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.” Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the “Malibu Barbie.” It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it’s modern origin:

The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.

The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.

The dentition pattern evident on the “skull” is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the “ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams” you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time.

OMG!  TOP 50+ BEST FUNNY CACTUS JOKES COLLECTION

This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:

The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.

Clams don’t have teeth.

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it’s normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name “Australopithecus spiff-arino.” Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin. However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation’s capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the “trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix” that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

OMG!  TOP 40+ BEST FUNNY KOBE BRYANT JOKES COLLECTION

Yours in Science,
Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities

  • How Many Neanderthals to Light a Fire

Q:  A group of Cro-Magnons are standing on a cliff, looking at a group of Neanderthals and say, “How many Neanderthals does it take to light a fire?”

A:  None. They don’t have it yet.

A joke I’ve picked up from working in Higher Education.

At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and crash into oncoming traffic. It’s a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims…

“Oh the Humanities!”

The Sexist Professor

The anthropology professor was well known for making sexist comments and jokes in class much to the dismay of the feminist female students. The women students got together outside class and decided that after the next sexist comment from the professor they would stand up and walk out of class in solidarity.
The next day the professor, while lecturing on a certain African tribe, said: ” and you ladies will be glad to know that the average penis size of the tribesmen is 12 inches!”
At that moment all the women in the class stood up and began filing out. The professor then said: “Wait! Wait ladies! The next flight to Nairobi doesn’t leave until tomorrow morning!”

 

  • If a furry says they’re sorry…

…is it an anthropology?

  • A caveman walks into an auditorium

He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, “Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn’t start for another hour. You’re early, man.”

  • Anthropology 101

The Catholic priest says to the cannibal: ‘You can’t eat that.’

Cannibal: ‘You know a better way to get a 12-year-old boy inside you?’

  • Anthropology

It’ll get you laid, but it won’t get you paid.

  • If you major in anthropology….

You owe your parents an apology.

Online Source:-

glider-pilot reddit abc11 religion-online haha politically-incorrect-humor ashjokes uglyhedgehog yahoo answers medium miscstories yahoo upjoke commonsenseevaluation

Read More Jokes :

THE 120+ BEST FUNNY JUDGE JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

TOP 10+ BEST BERET JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

THE 20+ BEST GLIDING JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

Share and Enjoy !

Shares

2 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *