Top 10+ BEST BERET JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

Here is The Best Beret Jokes Collection Only For This Week .

  • At the end of the Vietnam war

An American and Vietcong General were discussing who would have won if the war had continued. Unable to agree they decided to hold a competition between the US Army, the Green Berets and the Vietcong.

The competition was simple, whoever could catch a rabbit the fastest in the jungle would be declared the winner.

The US Army went in first, for over a week all that could be heard from the jungle was the sound of machine guns and mortar fire. Eventually they came out and admitted defeat.

Next in were the Green Berets, they spent over a year in the jungle laying trip wires and surveillance cameras. But they too couldn’t see a rabbit nevermind catch one.

Finally the Vietcong went in, the Americans scoffed at the ragtag bunch, thinking, if we couldn’t catch a rabbit, these guys haven’t got a hope in hell.

About an hour later the Vietcong emerge from the jungle holding a flying squirrel by the ears and declare themselves the winners. The Americans confused say: “but that’s not a rabbit!”

The Vietcong put a gun to the squirrels head and he starts shouting: “I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!”

  • A man sits at the bar drinking and looking upset.

The bartender asks him what’s wrong. The man looks up and says

“I lost it all playing the ponies. A million dollars. I had it and I lost it all.”

The bartender is taken aback. “If you don’t mind me prying, a million dollars is a lot of money. How’d you end up losing it?”

The man downs his drink. “Pour me another and I’ll tell you. I went to the track with five dollars. That’s it. I was only gonna spend five and go home. So I gets a good feeling about this horse named Fedora. He had incredible odds so I went for it. Turns out he won. So I makes a five into a hundred. I’m on a roll now, so in the next race I bets on a horse named Top Hat. Again, the odds are in my favour. He wins, and I turns a hundred into six thousand. It continues all day, every race. Beret made 6000 into 120,000. And Trilby makes 120,000 into 1,200,000. That’s no small potatoes. I shoulda known hat names wouldn’t work forever, but I thought I had a winner with Cowboy. He lost. I lost.”

The bartender is invested in the story by this point. He waits with bated breath. “So who won?”

“Some dumbass horse named Yarmulke.”

  • What do you call a french soul singer?
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Beret White

  • At the end of the Vietnam war

An American and Vietcong General were discussing who would have won if the war had continued. Unable to agree they decided to hold a competition between the US Army, the Green Berets and the Vietcong.

The competition was simple, whoever could catch a rabbit the fastest in the jungle would be declared the winner.

The US Army went in first, for over a week all that could be heard from the jungle was the sound of machine guns and mortar fire. Eventually they came out and admitted defeat.

Next in were the Green Berets, they spent over a year in the jungle laying trip wires and surveillance cameras. But they too couldn’t see a rabbit nevermind catch one.

Finally the Vietcong went in, the Americans scoffed at the ragtag bunch, thinking, if we couldn’t catch a rabbit, these guys haven’t got a hope in hell.

About an hour later the Vietcong emerge from the jungle holding a flying squirrel by the ears and declare themselves the winners. The Americans confused say: “but that’s not a rabbit!”

The Vietcong put a gun to the squirrels head and he starts shouting: “I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!”

  • Lock 

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret and I said, well you never know when you need to pick a lock

  • Dog

What do you call a dog wearing a beret? Smeargle!

Top of Form

BEST GLIDING JOKES COLLECTION FOR THIS WEEK

  • Garagula

Warning… Obscenity in the beginning.

Beret! Concert

Second link down (Don’t **** With Beret!)

  • “Going to a job interview? Wear a beret…”
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“A beret?”

“Yeah. They’ve been statistically proven to help you get a job by a million percent.”

“Right…and who did this study?”

“….France.”

  • US armed forces (explicit language)

There’s a Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret sitting around a campfire telling each-other how mean and tough they are.
The Marine says – “I can swim 50 miles and bite the head off a live chicken. One Marine is worth 5 other men.”
The Airforce Commando says – “I can clear runways one-handed and kill a man with my bare hands. One Airforce Commando is worth 10 other men.”
The Navy Seal says – “Yeah? Well I can dive up to 90 feet without air, and I’m an expert in demolitions. One Navy Seal is worth 13 other men.”
The Green Beret just sat there all this time saying nothing, stirring the fire with his dick.

  • StrategyPage’s Military Jokes and Military Humor

Seals vs. Green Beret

Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, A Green Beret got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. The Green Beret kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,”I think I’ll get up and get a coke.”

“No problem,” said the Green Beret, “I’ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Green Beret’s boot and spit in it.

When the Green Beret returned with the coke, the other Seal said, “That looks good, I think I’ll have one too.”

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Again, the Green Beret obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.

The Green Beret returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Green Beret slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.

“How long must this go on?” the Green Beret asked. “This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?”

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