TOP 80+ BEST FUNNY PROSTATE JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Prostate Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Prostate Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam – one of the most thorough examinations I’ve ever had – the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in. After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn’t want to hear….

She said….”Who was that guy?”

I was very uncomfortable during my last rectal exam. I said to my Proctologist, “is that your wedding ring Doctor?” He answered, “no that’s my watch.”

  • After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

“Who was that?”

  • A man goes to the Doctor for a prostate exam.

The Doctor puts on his rubber glove and the man bends down. The Doctor sticks his finger and proceeds with the checkup. After about a minute the Doctor says:

\- Don’t worry, it’s very normal to get an erection during this exam.

The man replies:

\- But I don’t have an erection.<br>
\- I know, but I do.</b

  • When I was getting my prostate exam, I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.

“Over there, next to mine” wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

  • What’s the last thing you want to hear during a prostate exam?

“Pull my finger”

  • A guy goes in for a prostate exam

The doctor puts on a glove and says, “take off your pants, and bend over the table”

The guy says “ouch I don’t like this”

The doctor puts his hand on the guy’s right shoulder and says, “don’t worry son, we’ll be done before you know it”

The guy says, “how much longer?”

The doctor puts a hand on his left shoulder, “almost there”

  • What’s something you don’t want to feel during a prostate exam?

The doctor putting his hands on your shoulders.

  • Didn’t shower before my prostate exam today.

Doctor told me that there may be something wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

  • What is another name for your prostate exam?

Anal-aysis

  • I just got a prostate exam.

I have a very thorough dentist.

  • A young man went to get a prostate exam

youngman: “hey doc I never done one of this before.”

doctor: “its fine just take your panta off.”

youngman: “where should I put my pants?”

doctor: “next to mine is fine.”

  • What do a printer and a prostate have in common?

Control pee

  • A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do.

About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.

The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.”

“Do you think it will work?” she asks the doctor.

“It’s worth a try,” he says.

So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.”

“What?” says the priest. “What happened?”

“You gave birth to a child.”

“But that’s impossible!”

“I just did the operation,” insists the doctor. “It’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.”

About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth.

One day he sits the boy down and says, “Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.”

The son says, “What do you mean, you’re not my father?”

The priest replies, “I’m your mother. The archbishop is your father.”

  • What did the optometrist say when he walked into another doctor’s prostate exam
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How many fingers is he holding up?

  • What’s the worst thing to hear immediately after a prostate exam?

The nurse walk in and say “Who was that guy?”

  • The most embarrassing erection I ever got was during a prostate exam.

Of course then he realised I wasn’t a real doctor.

  • I was having a prostate exam…

Me:*squirms

Doctor: Don’t worry, it’s perfectly fine to have an erection at a time like this.

So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

  • Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition….

I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know

  • The worse thing during prostate exam is when you get an erection… And they realize…

“Hang on, you are not a real doctor!”

  • I’m really happy after my prostate exam…

….My doctor gave me the thumbs up!

  • Prostate Exam

I went to the doctors for a prostate exam. He said “I should make you aware that it’s perfectly normal to get an erection during this type of examination.”
I said “But I haven’t got an erection.”
“No,” he said, “but I have.”

  • So i went to have a prostate exam the other day

The doctor told me to take my underwear and trousers off, but i had a Complete mindblank moment and said “Where should i put them?”

He looked at me with reassuring eyes and replied “Just pop them next to mine”.

I wish all doctors were this considerate.

  • Prostate and apologies if its a repost

A man went though his Prostate exam with stoicism and thought good, thats done with, as the doctor walked out. Then the nurse walked in and muttered those three words no man wants to hear.

“Who was that?”

  • I was getting a prostate examination when the doctor said “just so you know, this is a digital rectal exam”.

“I understand. I know what is involved”, I reply.

The doctor elaborates, “Just so you know, this exam will likely cause an erection”.

I consider it for a moment and say, “That’s fine, I’ve got it under control. It should be ok”.

The doctor replies, “I wasn’t talking about you.”

  • I went to get a prostate exam yesterday…

the doctor told me to get in the fetal position and relax.

“You, know”, the doc said after about 30 seconds into the procedure, “it’s shouldn’t be embarrassing, and it’s not uncommon for some men to get an erection during this procedure.”

“I don’t have an erection’, I responded.

Doc responded, “Yeah, but I do.”

  • Mike was undergoing his first prostate examination…

It was uncomfortable, but the doctor seemed like a professional. Still, Mike was nervous.

Doctor: It’s normal to get an erection during a prostate exam

Mike: I don’t have an erection

Doctor: I was talking about myself

  • Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam – one of the most thorough examinations I’ve ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn’t want to hear….

She said….”Who was that guy?”

  • I gave myself a prostate exam earlier.

That’s the last time I buy cheap toilet roll.

  • I went to see my Doctor yesterday for a prostate examination…

There was nothing to worry about, he gave me the thumbs up.

  • The doctor who checked my prostate looked like he spent five days a week at the gym. So I asked him what the weather was going to do…
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…he was clearly a meaty urologist.

  • I had my prostate exam yesterday.

It’s the last time I will ever fall asleep on the subway.

  • My doctor checked my prostate last week

It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.

  • I went to the doctor the other day.

He was telling me that I was getting up in years and it’s probably around the time that I start getting a prostate exam.

So I said “listen dude I’m just here to get my teeth cleaned”

This joke courtesy of my dad

  • i just got my first prostate exam

and im never going back to that dentist again

  • Prostate checkup

I went for a checkup and got my prostate examined. I asked him if everything was okay and he said “feels fine to me, but what do I know i’m just your dentist”

  • It was that time again for John’s yearly prostate exam.

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test at the local hospital, he decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand, where there are beautiful nurses who are more gentle and accommodating.

As usual, he was asked to strip off and lie naked on his side on the bed. A very attractive nurse came in began the examination.

“At this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” said the nurse.

“I haven’t got an erection,” said John.

“No, but I have” replied the nurse.

  • Prostate examination [NSFW]

A guy goes into the medical center for a checkup. The nurse asks him if he’s ever had a prostate exam before, and reassures him it’s very straightforward and not to worry. Just go through into the next room, and the doctor will be with you shortly.
So he goes into the room and starts undressing. It’s only a minute before the Doctor comes in and tells him to drop his trousers. Asked where to put his pants, Doctor says “right here next to mine.”

  • I took a prostate exam at home, I think I failed…

I lost my pen

  • Of Mayhem from Allstate Insurance and Flow from Progressive Insurance had a baby…

They would name it Aggressive Prostate Insurance.

  • My doctor used two fingers during my prostate exam…

He said he needed a second opinion.

  • Why do men with prostate issues have issues stealing video game systems?

Because they have trouble taking a Wii.

  • Prostate Exam

A man goes to his doctor for his prostate exam. The doctor gets his glove and starts doing his thing, when suddenly, he finds a £50 note! The doctor keeps searching and finds a large amount of notes and coins at different amounts. After he’s sure he got everything out, he counts it all up.

Doctor : *I don’t want to alarm you, but I just pulled £1999.99 out of your ass! Have you any idea why or how this happened?*

Patient : *I guess I’m just not feeling* ***too grand***.

  •  “How many fingers now?” Asked the doctor.

Patient: “You know, this is not how I envisioned a prostate exam.”

  • I got my first prostate exam

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it’s not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare myself for what was coming. I tensed up at first and the doctor put a hand on my right shoulder and said, “relax,okay big guy! It’s all gonna be over soon I just need to check for enlargements.” About 10 more seconds go by and I still just can’t seem to relax. That’s when the doctor put his other hand on my left shoulder and said, “come on now buddy, take it easy!”

  • So an Evangelical Republican Senator goes in for a prostate exam…
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The doctor gives him a clean bill of health, and sends him on his way. He returns a week later to get a second opinion. Another doctor confirms the first’s findings. He comes back for a *third* rectal examination, swearing something is amiss, only to once again be given a clean bill of health. On the way out, the attending nurse says, “I have to ask: Every doctor tells you you’re fine. What are you worried about?”

“Oh, it’s not about my health. I just figured why pay a guy at the truck stop $100 to do it and another $1000 to keep quiet; My co-pay here is $20 and the confidentiality is free!”

  • I had my first prostate exam last week

It was the most uncomfortable thing that I’ve ever done in my life. It turned from bad to worse when I realized the doctor had both hands on my shoulders.

  • After doing it once they said a prostate exam is like riding a bike..

Without the seat.

  • Guy goes to the doctor for a prostate exam

Doctor warns him, “It is normal to get an erection while I perform this procedure, so don’t be alarmed”.

After the doctor is all finished the guy says, “Doc, I never got an erection, I didn’t even feel like I was going to get one”.

The doctor smiles and says, “Oh, not you silly”.

  • You know you’re in for a rough Prostate Exam…

…when you get into “position” and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the “safe word”

  • You can accurately measure a person’s intelligence level by giving them a simple prostate exam.

If they let you, they’re an idiot.

  • Pants

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. “next to mine” was not the answer i was expecting

  • Hand

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

  • Cell

What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?

Cell-ablate!

  • Dependent

How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?

It’s all Depends!

  • Best

How would you best describe prostate cancer?

Well it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!

  • Doctor

My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam. That being said I wish he hadn’t!

  • Bet

I bet you love prostate exams because you live things up your ass

Top of Form

  • Man

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital. Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It’s not looking good. Guy #2: Why, what is it? Guy #1: Turns out, I have Prostate Cancer. Guy #2: Oh man that sucks… Guy #1: Yeah, it’s a real pain in the ass!

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