TOP 50+ BEST FUNNY PINEAPPLE JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Pineapple Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Pineapple Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • When is an apple not an apple?

When it’s a pineapple!

  • What kind of fruit do trees like the most

Pine-apple

  • What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pineapple.

  • Whats the difference between a pineapple and a slut?

The Pineapple isn’t as messy when you eat it!

  • Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

  • What do you call a fat pineapple?

A pineapple chunk!

  • What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?

The worlds best Sundae!

  • Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice

  • What did the pineapple say to the pineapple pie?

“You’ve got some crust.”

  • Why was the shark eating pineapples?

Because it makes seamen taste better.

  • Did you hear about the honeydew and pineapple who tried getting married?

The court said they *cant-eloupe*

  • Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Malaysian airlines 103.

  • Someone important came to my house. I tried to make him a pizza with pineapples out of spite, but I burned it.

I should have put it on aloha temperature.

  • I once put rum and pineapple into CERN’s particle accelerator

Discovered the Piña Collider

  • Fed up with with the prices at the grocery store, a housewife finds the nearest employee and screams ” YOU CAN TAKE THIS $12 PINEAPPLE, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!”

The grocery clerk said “I’m sorry Ma’am but I can’t. I already have an $18 chicken, a $6 gallon of milk, and 3 avocados up there”

  • A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?

Schizophrenia.

  • I’m having a bun filled with ham and pineapple for my lunch today…

That’s Hawaii roll…

  • Presidents

Two guys, one American, one Russian, are discussing their presidents:

– We despise our president, you know, when Trump is out in the crowd, everyone throws eggs, fruits – saw somebody throwing a pineapple at him; he get spit a lot and we swear at him aloud …

– Here, In Russia, when Putin passes by, everybody urinates on him, but you know, everybody!

\- Well, let’s be serious; I exaggerated a little … we swear at Trump, but in a whisper … we throw at him … but in front of our TVs …

\- Well, I exaggerated a bit as well … We really urinate, but we don’t put our pants down …



\[Now: not a native speaker, so mistakes should be overlooked, of course, I hope it’s not a repost\]

  • A man has been found dead at the pizza parlour

He was covered in ham, pineapple, onions, mushrooms, bell pepper, ground beef, pepperoni and four cheeses.

Police are saying he topped himself.

  • Stranded unfortunately…

##

3 men survive a plane crash in the ocean and wash up on a random remote island. They are soon captured by the local natives who tie them up and keep them captive. After a few days of being tied up, the are brought in front of The Chief. The Chief informs them that they’re to go out into the jungle and find 10 pieces of the exact same fruit and bring them back here for judgement. If they fail the judgement then they will be eaten! The Chief also informs that if they try to run and hide, they will be easily hunted down and also eaten! The 3 men scatter and about an hour later 2 of the 3 have returned. The Chief summons the first man forward who has with him 10 apples. The Chief informs the first man to shove all 10 apples up his bottom one by one and if he shows any sign of discomfort, he will be taken away to be eaten. If he were to succeed, the natives will build him a boat and he can leave. The first man puts one apple up his backside and is fine. He begins to put the second one up but screams in pain! The local natives grab him and begin to tie him up to prep him for eating. The Chief summons the second man forward who has gathered 10 berries. The Chief tells him the same deal. The second man puts the first berry up, the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eight, ninth and as he is about to put the last one up he begins bursting out with laughter. The local natives grab him and also tie him up, throwing him to the ground where the first man is tied up. The first man says to the second man – “What happened, you were on the last berry why did you start laughing?” – the second man still laughing, motions with his head over to the distance where the first man spots the third man coming back with… Pineapples

  • Pineapple on pizza is like going down on your cousin.
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It tastes good, but something ain’t right.

  • From where do you get pineapple milk?

From its pinenipples!

  • How do you confuse an idiot?

Put a pineapple on your head


.

Confused?

  • Mr. Pineapple and his Honey Melon are berry in love..

“Sweety, we are ripe for a wedding! Let’s invite olive our fruity friends!”

“Are you sure we cantaloupe?”

  • What’s the difference between a School bus and a pineapple?

The little pricks are on the outside of the pineapple!

  • An airplane crashes on an uncharted island.

Out of everyone on board only 3 people survive, Bob, Jerry, and Rick. When they awake they have been captured by an indigenous tribe. As they beg for their survival the tribe leader speaks up.

Tribe leader: “you three have survived a big crash and are very lucky. As an act of mercy we will let you go find some food, then Come back here when you have found something.

The three oblige and leave to find some substance.
After a few hours bob comes back with a banana.

Tribe leader: “Now, if you want to live you will insert this into yourself without making any facial expressions.

Bob, while stunned by this order, does as he is told. He starts to cry and is beheaded on the spot.

Jerry comes back with a handful of berries and the tribe leader says the same thing to him.
He starts to laugh as he is about to finish and is killed on the spot as well.
Once jerry gets to heaven, bob sees him.

Bob: “those were just little blackberries how did you fail?”

Jerry: “because I saw Rick coming back with a pineapple.”


(This is obviously not my joke I read it a few years back and still remembered the idea, it’s not the same wording as I typed this from memory)

  • A person was hit by a bus after he claimed pineapple goes with pizza…
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Also, I lost my bus license today.

  • What do you call a fruit that loves someone from afar?

A pineapple.

  • Bilingual dad joke

What do you call a pineapple with grandkids?



Anana

  • What is a blonde’s favourite colour?

Pineapple.

  • A 14 y/o girl decides to try drugs.

So she created a bong out of a pineapple and paper towel tube. She didn’t have any cool friends with real drugs so she tried to smoke oregano, but found it hurt her throat. Next she tried black pepper in the bong but it made her sneeze. She experimented with ground Ginger but the smoke made her eyes water. The internet says banana peels can be smoked but she couldn’t get them dry enough to combust. Finally she stole a cig from Grandma and placed it in the bowl to get the experience of inhaling, and realized she didn’t like it.

TL;DR
tube bong; didn’t weed

  • Got a list for y’all

1. (OC) Where do ghosts go to get their teeth worked on?

>!The Orthohauntist!!<



2. Two muffins are in the oven, one says to the other: Ya think it’s getting hot in here?

the other one says: >!AHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!<



3. One guy says to his friend: Hey, wanna get some pineaples?

His friend: did you just misspell pineapples?

Him: Yeah sorry autocorrect

His friend: >!Dude, we’re talking in real life.!<

Him: >!uhhhh \*runs away\*!<



4. How is it that Giraffes “exist” and Unicorns don’t?What’s more believable?

>!A leopard-moose-camel with a 40-foot neck, or a horse with a horn?!<

  • The New Market on the Corner

A new market opened up in Bill’s neighborhood, so he decided to go down and see what they had for sale.

Inside appeared to be different produce stands, but, strangely, all he saw were bakery stuffs on the shelves. One was covered in pies and labeled “Pineapple Pies – $2/lb.” Another was covered in pastries and labeled “Cherry Tarts – $0.85/lb.” And on and on it went: “Banana Biscuits – $1.15/lb.” “Lemon Loaves – $2.95/lb.” etc. etc.

An attendant, who was stocking what looked like Watermelon Muffins, asked Bill, “Finding everything okay?”

“What is this place, exactly?”

“It’s a baked fruit stand! We sell nothing but fruit, but they only are sold baked into our wonderful doughs and pastries.”

“Wow!” replied Bill. “That’s a cool idea! Is there anything you recommend?”

“Absolutely! Our Orange Cookies are to die for! They’re our most popular product! But, unfortunately, the farmers who reap our fruits haven’t been able to grow enough oranges to keep them in stock.”

Just then, a pickup truck pulled up to the shop and out came three individuals dressed in overalls and sun hats to unload crates from out the back.

“Who are they?”

“Those are the farmers and bakers who supply our stock. They’re actually native to this land, so not only are they our suppliers, but they actually own the grounds on which the market was built.”

Bill looked over the crates and remarked, “Doesn’t look like they have any Orange Cookies today, either. Do they restock the same time everyday?”

“Yes, sir,” replied the attendant, “every day at 8.”

“Great! Then I will see you tomorrow.”

So Bill headed over to the market the next day, just as the farmers finished unloading the last crate.

He noticed the empty shelf and asked the attendant, “No Orange Cookies today?”

The attendant replied, while shaking his head, “Nope, I’m afraid not.”

Bill mumbled under his breath, “So frustrating…” as he walked out of the shop.

The next day, Bill returned while the farmers were still unloading the day’s stock.

The attendant looked over at him as he asked, “Got any Orange Cookies today?”

The attendant simply frowned and shook his head.

Bill grumbled, a little louder this time, “Useless farmers…”

Again, the next day Bill arrived in the middle of the farmers unloading their truck. He walked straight up to the attendant, who looked at him with a sad expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, sir, no Orange Cookies today, neither.”

Bill began to bluster frustratedly, then turned to the farmers and yelled, “*WHAT GOOD ARE YOU!?!*”

The attendant immediately stomped his foot and pointed his finger right in Bill’s face as he said, “Hey! I understand you come here for the OC, but there’s no need to bad-mouth our reap hosts!”

  • America
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3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says “Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

  • who’s a pineapple?

I’m a pineapple…Yass teacher and kid kid: hey teacher: yes kid: would you punish me for something I didn’t do? teacher: of course not kid: well I didn’t do my homework

  • What did the salad say to pineapple

Lettuce be friends

  • What is a pig cross pineapple.

A porkypine!

  • What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple

Top of Form

  • What do you call a pineapple?

P.P.A.P LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK

  • why do you call a pineapple a pineapple

because it is a pineapple pin apple apple pen doudodo

  • Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice

Online Source:-

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