TOP 40+ BEST FUNNY KOBE BRYANT JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Kobe Bryant Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Kobe Bryant Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • Kobe Bryant’s death was an important and historic occasion.

It marked the first time he’s passed in years.

  • At least we know Kobe was a good dad

He wasn’t a helicopter parent.

  • It’s way too soon for Kobe jokes.

They never land well.

  • How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?

His face was chiseled into the mountain.

  • A too-soon Kobe joke

Q: What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?

A: They both have torn rotators.

(Let the downvotes begin)

  • Don’t worry about missing a shot after yelling “Kobe”…

He didn’t make it either.

  • Whats the difference between time and Kobe Bryant?

Time passes.

  • People should say Cobain instead of Kobe…

Because Kurt Cobain never missed his shot

  • What did the pilot say before he crashed into the mountain?

“Kobe!”

  • Why did the cannibal chef rush to the Bryant helicopter crash scene?

To get some fresh grass-fed Kobe beef.

  • My dad is a lot like Kobe Bryant..

.. he’s not here either.

  • Why did Lamar give money to Kobe?

Because Lamar Odom

  • Kobe was one of the best Lakers players of all time

But Magic Johnson was definitely the most positive.

  • Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell “Kobe!”

But then, my friend follows up by yelling “Jack!” I don’t get what he’s trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy.

  • Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested?
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Because he needed one.

  • What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball?

A Kobe Shinobi!

  • So an airplane was about to crash…..

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, “I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can’t afford to die.” So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, “I am the wife of the former US President, a NY State Senator and a potential future President. I deserve to live” And she took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, “I’m the president of the United States of America. I have great a responsibility to be alive being the leader of the lone super-power and I am the cleverest president in American history, so America’s people won’t like me dead” He grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out of the plane.

The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, “I am old and frail and don’t have many years left, and I will sacrifice my life for a young life and let you have the last parachute.”

The girl said, “it’s okay, there is a parachute left for you. America’s cleverest president has taken my schoolbag.”

  • Q: What do Micheal Jackson and Kobe Bryant have in Common?

A: One screws little white Virgin women, the other is a little white Virgin Woman

  • Q: Did you hear about Shaq getting traded to the Miami Heat?
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A: Yeah, Kobe was so happy he had sex with his own wife!

  • Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?

A: To figure out what part of “no” he doesn’t understand.

  • Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he’ll rebound well after this scandal?

A: Because he’ll be the tallest player on the prison team.

  • Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?

A: To practice jumping bail.

  • Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?

A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint.

  • Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?

A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.

  • Q: What’s the next event Kobe Bryant will be attending?

 A: The Teen not by Choice Awards.

  • Q: Why did Kobe attend the Teen Choice Awards?

A: He was fascinated by the “choice” aspect of it. Kobe Bryant still hasn’t made his decision about what team he will be on next season. He said he’ll either be a Laker for life or a Laker doing life.

  • Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?

A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.

  • Q: Who’s the head lawyer on Kobe’s legal team?

A: The one with dirt on his knees.

  • Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so POPULAR in prison?

A: He’s great at penetrating to the hole.

  • Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so UNPOPULAR in prison?

A: He’s an all-star. He doesn’t suck.

  • Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?
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A: Cuz no one likes a rapist.

  • Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?

A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.

  • Q: Why did Kobe add the letter “O” to his bracelet?

A: So it would stand for: “What Would O.J. Do?”.

  • Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?

A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches.

  • Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe’s marital infidelity?

A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.

  • Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?

A: “Who cares, I’m a coke man myself.”

  • Q: Why would Kobe Bryant make a good governor?

A: He’s getting his scandal out of the way early.

  • Q: Why does Kobe have for Thanksgiving?

A: Same as always, a little white meat on the side.

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