TOP 70+ BEST FUNNY IRAN JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Iran Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Iran Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him “I had a dream last night….”

“New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above.”

Trump replies: “Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere.”

“What did the banners say?”, asked the Iranian President.

“I don’t know,” Trump answers, “I can’t read Hebrew.”

  • I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than they can.

  • Ya know I hear Iran has no Walmarts

Only Targets.

  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Iran.

Iran who?

Iran all the way here. Let me in already!

  • With all this tension between Iran and America and possible war a lot misinformation can be spread so I just wanted to remind everyone who shot first

Han.

  • You’re a Savage Warrior. You’re a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You’re a Barbar Barbarian.

You’re known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You’re a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You’re a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You’re a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular children’s character. You are Babar’s barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You get a bad case of bone spurs. You are Babar’s barbed barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You get a side job as a singer. You are Babar’s barbed barred Barbar bar barbarian barber bard.

You were named after your parents favorite Beach Boys song. You are Babar’s barbed barred Barbar bar barbarian barber bard Barbara Ann.

  • Trump is a genius threatening to attack historical cultural sites in Iran

He knows that the Iranians won’t find any of these in the US to retaliate

  • Just got back from my trip to Iran

It was a blast!

  • Why doesn’t Iran have an Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

  • What’s all this news about Iran?

Sounds like they are stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

  • Word on the street is Iran needs a new General.

Trump is doing so great, he’s even creating jobs in Iran.

  • Some street joke from IRAN

Somewhere in Iran a Mullah is walking the street and suddenly falls into a hole.

Some people walking around rush to the top of the hole to help him :

\- Give us your hand !

The Mullah stand still in the bottom of the hole while the people keep shouting to him.

After a few minutes they stop and rush to ask another Mullah who was walking by for advice.

\- He replies : What did you told him ?

\- We shouted : Give us your hand !

\- I see, wrong sentence instead try : Take our hand

  • Iran bans Americans from traveling there.

Won’t beheading there anymore

  • When i realized who was in WW3
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Iran

  • ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who’s there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I’ve come to bargain.

  • Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?

Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

  • Guess how i escaped Iraq..

Iran

SYRIASLY

  • The military just came to my door saying I was getting drafted, guess what I did

Iran

  • “How did you dodge the draft?”

“Iran”

  • A soldier is running from the Military Police

He spots a Nun and says, “Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I’ll explain why later.”

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, “Yes! He went that way!”

Once the MP cleared, the soldier comes out and says, “Thank you so much! I’m hiding from them because they’re trying to deploy me to fight in Iran, and I just don’t want that! Hope you don’t mind me saying, but you have really firm and nicely shaped calves! Your thighs look really firm!”

The Nun abruptly says, “Son! Stop! If you would have looked any higher you would have seen my balls! I too don’t want to go fight in Iran!”


(Note: My thanks, my respect, my love and appreciation to all who service and have serviced in the military!)

  • Trumps so good at making jobs

He even opened some up in Iran!

  • What’s flat, black and glows in the dark?

Iran if they keep it up

  • President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

  • The Nun

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please may I hide under your skirt? I will explain later.”

The nun agreed. A moment later Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier run by here?”

The nun replied, “Nope, not today sir, god bless you” After the Police ran the other direction the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister, you see, I don’t want to go to war in Iran.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope this isn’t rude sister but you have a great set of legs!”

The nun replied “Well, If you had looked a little higher you would have seen a great pair of balls… I don’t want to go to Iran either!”

  • What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN…

  • After World War 2, France seriously considered changing its name.

Unfortunately Iran was already taken.

  • The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They’ve stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan…Iran’s so far awaaaay….

  • A man scared me in Persia,

So Iran

  • When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this…

Iran

  • I don’t know if anybody’s done this before

the US tried to draft me
but Iran away.

  • “How did you not get drafted into the war?”

“Heh.” I chuckled.

“Iran.”

  • I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs
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I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!

  • A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y’see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico’s to the south, *and Iran, Iran’s so far away*.

  • What did I do when a terrorist attacked?

Iran

  • I didnt see anything

An iranian, an english, and a french lady decide to tell their husbands that they are tired from doing chores and they dont want to do housework anymore.
After a week they reported the results as such:

The english lady: I didn’t see anything the first three days but on the fourth day my husband told me i love you and gave me a kiss before going to work.

The french lady: I also didn’t see anything for three days but on the fourth day my husband brought me breakfast in bed and took the day off just to spend time with me.

The iranian lady: I didn’t see anything for five days. Fortunately though on the sixth day, i could see a little bit through my left eye!



This one is a classic in iran. I hope i translated it well

  • A couple of hours after Trump approved “offensive” cyber strikes against Iran’s missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT’S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

  • The rockets were approaching…

So Iran.

  • A man finally returns home from WWIII to his dog

The dog asks:
“Did you go for a walk without me?”

The man replies:
“No, Iran”

  • I wanted to get this joke out to the world

They drafted me for WWIII, but Iran.

  • Do you know what I did when I found the site the general was killed at?

Iran

  • President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

  • The Persian empire fell

So Iran.

  • What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

  • Just bought a new game where you have to paint pictures of Ancient Iran

It’s called Prints of Persia

  • Donald Trump…

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don’t know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world is in shock.
-Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
-Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.
-Latin American countries are sending clothing.
-New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
-The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.
-Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
-President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending back two million replacement Muslims.

  • A lot of people in Iran think that president, Hassan Rouhani went way over the line when he threatened the US with the mother of all wars in his latest speech.
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In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

  • With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

  • In Iran, everyone’s scared of spiders..

But in Iraq, no phobia.

  • My middle eastern friend was held at gunpoint.

He told me he was able to get out of the situation,

I asked him, “How?”

He said

“Iran”

  • I met a guy from the Middle East after a marathon

I asked him if he walked it.
No, he said, Iran.

  • Anyone got any jokes about the Middle East?

I guess Iran out of ideas

  • So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There’s going to be some rule changes:

Queens won’t be able to move without the king’s permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

  • A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran…

..but Iran so far away!

  • That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home

Iran

  • I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked

Iran so far away.. ‘Couldn’t get away

·        A man in Terhan finished a marathon.

A fellow entered the state marathon, in Terhran. The runner suprised everyone by finishing in record time. With great curiosity, the judges and government asked how he could possibly finish in such a speedy time. The man, humbly, responds with…

‘Iran.’

  • Whats an athlete’s favorite country?

Iran

  • There was once a marathon runner who had become quite famous and won many awards for his records.

He was so well liked that eventually he became the president of Iran. During his tenure he managed to take over multiple countries including Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Georgia, Iraq and Syria. They were all assimilated and became a part of Iran. The only country he didn’t manage to take over was Turkey. But he didn’t mind since he essentially had control by surrounding the country’s borders.

After many years he had begun to get bored. Though he had gotten older he had maintained his impressive marathon abilities and lightning speed. So one day he decided to sign up for the olympics in order to really test his skill. Yet, despite all of his accomplishments, and much to his dismay, he was denied entrance. During the application, when the recruiters asked him what his greatest accomplishment was, he said “Iran around a Turkey sandwich”

  • What did i do to escape Iraq?

Iran


Don’t worry this story Israel

  • where do suicide bombers go when they die?

everywhere!

Top of Form

  • Q: Guess who just stopped smoking?

A: General Qasem Soleimani

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