TOP 120+ BEST FUNNY HOT DOG JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Hot Dog Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Hot Dog Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • What is the best way to enjoy a hot dog?

Relish it.

  • A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says:

“make me one with everything”

  • I took a road trip with my German buddy and when I accidentally dropped my hot dog out the window he swung the car around to go back and get it. . .

That’s when the whole trip really took a turn for the wurst.

  • Hot Dog

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.


One says to the other in a shocked tone, “My God. Do they eat dogs in America?”


“I don’t know!” says the other, equally appalled.


“Well,” says the first, “we’re going to be Americans, so we must do as they do.”


They approach the vendor bravely. “Two hot dogs, please.”


The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, “Uh, which part of the dog did you get?”

  • A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand

The monk says “Make me one with everything.”

The vendor says that’ll be $3.50. The monk asks for change, to which the vendor replies

“Change comes from within.”

  • What do you call a French hot dog?

A Oui-ner

  • I just had a very serious discussion about hot dogs,

It was a frank discussion.

  • I bought a pet snake. He’s a very picky eater. Only eats burgers, hot dogs, and sloppy joes.

Apparently, my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hon.

  • I just opened my own kosher hot dog stand in my neighborhood but business is suffering even though I’ve been told it’s to die for.

So please support your local businesses and come on down to Anne’s Franks. You won’t regret it!

  • What do you call someone who electrocutes hot dogs?

Frank Zappa

  • A good friend of mine, Frank, owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business…

He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though, and is determined to make every post a weiner.

  • A guy goes into a luncheonette and orders a hamburger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, the waitress puts a plate in front of him with an open bun on it, pulls a hamburger out of her armpit, and tosses it on the bun.

The guy says, “What the hell was that all about?”
She says, “I was just keeping it warm for you.”
He says, “Cancel my hot dog.”

  • For a while I was a hot dog vendor. One time this guy walked up to me and asked me to make him one with everything.

So I pulled out my gun and shot him in the face.

  • A buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

The vendor drops a kosher beef hot dog into a seed-covered bun and tops it with yellow mustard, chopped white onions, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, relish, hot peppers, celery salt, and black pepper.

The monk hands over a $100 bill and takes the hot dog. The vendor takes the note and smiles. “Have a nice day!”.

The monk is confused. “Pardon me, what about my change?”

The vendor answers with a bow: “Change only comes from within.”

  • Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?

Because the sauce ages

  • I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

  • A pair of Amish girls visiting NYC decide to try hot dogs for the first time

They buy two hot dogs wrapped in foil from a street vendor and sit down on a nearby bench, excited to finally try this modern cuisine.

The first girl opens the foil, blushes with embarrassment, and shyly asks the second girl, “What part of the dog did you get?”

  • The hot dog

So a traveling salesman goes into a fairly grungy diner. The waitress comes over, and she doesn’t look too good, either.

Deciding he’d better not take any chances, the guy orders two hamburgers and a hot dog.

The waitress comes over a few minutes later with the hamburgers under her arms.

The guy says, “Why are the hamburgers under your arms?”

The waitress says, “I’m keeping them warm.”

And the guy says, “Cancel the hot dog.”

  • A hot dog vendor brings a homeless man to court for standing near the stand and enjoying the smell of the meat as he ate his bread. The judge is quite exasperated.

Judge: [to the homeless man] Do you deny this?

Homeless man: No, your honor.

Judge: Do you have any coins?

Homeless man: Just a few quarters, your Honor.

Judge: Give them here.

Homeless man: Your Honor, they’re all I have!

Judge: That may be so, but please just give me those coins.

Homeless man: Very well. [hands over the coins]

Judge: [to the stand owner] Pay close attention. [drops coins on the table] Did you hear that?

Stand owner: Yes, your Honor.

Judge: Excellent. Now you take the sound of those coins as payment for the smell of the meat.

  • I went to the local hot dog guy and said, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?”

He said, “Sure. It shouldn’t be long.”

Me: In that case, can I get two?

  • A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: ‘Make me one with everything’….

After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says ‘That’ll be $4 please’.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him….
Awkwardly the monk ask’s ‘What about my change’?.

‘Ah’ replies the hot dog vendor, ‘Change must come from within’.

  • A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart…

Yam: Can I be candied with you?

Hot dog: In that case, let me be frank.

  • Hot dogs really should be renamed to hot wolves

They always come in packs

  • The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog…

He’s the only one who feeds the hand that bites him

  • Have you ever been to a hot dog factory?

No, I haven’t sausage a place.

  • I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy pot-luck dinner party.

But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.

  • Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken!

  • What does T’challa put on his hot dog?

Wakandaments

  • A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked “Would you mind if I throw him a bit?”

“Not at all,” the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

  • An indecisive hot dog got a bun pregnant.

He didn’t know what condoment

  • The Buddhist at the hot dog stand. . .

paid with a ten dollar bill, and got nothing in return. After waiting for a minute, he said “what about my change?”
The hot dog vendor replied, “change comes from within.”

  • A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says…
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“Make me one with everything.”

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, “Change comes from within.”

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors “Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?”

And the monk replies “this IS my inner piece.”

Suddenly a bystander calls out. “I’ve called the cops! They’ll be here any minute!”

The vendor, expecting the monk to flee the scene, is quite surprised to see that the monk makes no motion to leave, even as the sounds of police sirens fill the street.

“Aren’t you going to run away?” he asks.

The monk shakes his head and replies, “Namaste.”

  • A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor…

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says “make me one with everything”.


Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good

  • Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I “keep the change, son, I don’t want it”

It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.

  • What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?

The WURST!

  • One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school…

His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, “What’s the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?”

Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, “I was in my history class and it’s so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It’s so unfair!”

The mother came up to Hot Dog Bun Boy and gave him a consoling hug. She then said, “I know son, it’s not fair. But in the end, history is written by the wieners.”

  • What are hot dogs called in the winter?

Chilly dogs.

  • Two hot dogs walk into a bar, what does the bar tender say?

Sorry we don’t serve food here.

  • What happened to Jesus’ hot dog?

It was crusifried.

  • I stepped into my shower today only to find hot dogs coming out of the shower head

My plumber calls it a “meatier shower”.

  • They brought the hot dog in for questioning.

He gave the… wurst… answers.

  • I saw a hot dog vendor today…

She was good looking, but I don’t really want a dog.

  • What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

“I’m a wiener!”

  • A hot dog walks into a bar

The bartender says, “We don’t serve sandwiches here.”

The hot dog says, “That’s ok. I came for the roast beef.”

  • Friends from school are like hot dogs

You have them because they’re there, not because you love them

  • What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a hot dog bun?

Frank

  • Buddhist vs hot dog vendor

What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?

“Make me one with everything.”



the Buddhist gives him a fifty, and the vendor pockets it. The Buddhist asks for change and the vendor replies ‘Change comes from within.’



The Buddhist pulls out a gun. “Whoa,” the vendor exclaims. “I thought you guys were about inner peace!”

The Buddhist replies, “This is my inner piece.”


The vendor replies, “No need to get violent. Do you want the fifty back or something valuable I recently found?”

The Buddhist replies, “What did you find?”

The vendor holds up a small peppermint chocolate with a hole in the middle, holds it up to the sun until a small light shines through the hole, and says “A light in mint”.

  •  (Here’s a Pick up line) … You should sell hot dogs !

Because you know how to make a wiener stand!

  • Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?

Turns out he was just a bit shy.

  • How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

  • Went to a hot dog convention hoping to meet some women

but it turned out to be a sausage fest

  • A man was eating a hotdog…

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.

The man asked “Would you mind if I throw him a bit?”

“Not at all.” the woman replied.

The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

  • Damn Girl, you should sell hotdogs.

Cause you make my Weiner stand.

  • One hotdog says to another, “You been to that German night club yet?”

“Nah, too krauted.”

  • How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?

He mustard up the courage.

  • A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says,

“Make me one with everything.”

  • I was eating a hotdog the other day and when I took a bite ketchup squirted in my eye.

Now I have heinzsight

  • How did the hotdog get the job despite having a criminal record?

It was a misde-wiener

  • On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hotdog. As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles, and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hotdog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hotdog vendor,

“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

“It’s simple, ma’am,” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage, “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

“Ya see, ma’am? The _real_ joke’s always in the condiments.”

  • Why are German hotdogs the most controversial?

It’s because they make the best and the wurst ones

  • What did the American hotdog say to the German hotdog?

you’re the wurst

  • An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.

The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.

When the hotdog is served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.

The American asks, “What’s wrong?”

The Chinese Man replies, “When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body. Not eat it.”

  • I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs.

I choose to relish the moment.

  • What does a hotdog call his wife?

Honey bun.

*As told buy my 7 year old.*

  • A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar..

The bartender immediately tells them “I’m sorry but we don’t serve food here.”

  • I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

  • Why do Germans fear getting cheese in their hotdogs?

Because for them it’s considered to be a Wurst-Käse scenario.

Some people hate hotdogs.

I relish them

I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.

I’m on a roll.

  • What’s the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?

You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October

  • Why do all hotdogs look alike?
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Because they are in bread…

  • My girlfriend asked me if hotdogs were good for her diet

I replied, “They’re not the wurst”

  • What do you call a saw that cuts hotdogs

Sawsage

  • A guy claims to have made a 20 lb hotdog

A butcher says “ah, that’s bologna”

  • Why did the family get lost on the way to the hotdog stand?

They took a turn for the wurst.

  • My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000

The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

  • Did you hear about the incestuous hotdogs?

They say they’re in bread.

  • What happens when you turn flying mammals into hotdogs?

Things go from bat to wurst

  • What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?

“Make me one with everything.”

Then the Zen Buddhist hands the hotdog vendor a twenty. The hotdog vendor takes the bill. “Where’s my change?” says the Zen Buddhist.

The hotdog vendor says “Seek change within.”

  • Grandpa and Grandma are sitting on a bench in the park

they hear the jingle of the icecream salesman.

Grandma says : “I’d like some vanilla icecream.”

Grandpa says: “Good idea, I’d also like some chocolate icecream”.

Grandma stands up and says: “I’ll go get some.”

“You should write it, Grandma, you know your memory is not what it was… you’ll forget !”

“Don’t worry Grandpa, I won’t, it’s easy : vanilla, chocolate. Vanilla, Chocolate…”

And thus Grandma leaves Grandpa while singsonging “Vanilla, Chocolate …”



A while later, Grandma comes back with a couple of hotdogs in her hands.

“Grandma ! what did you take ??? “

“Look Grandpa, I took two ketchup hot-dogs !”

“Grandma… I told you to write it down ! I knew you’d forget the mustard !”

  • “Dad why did you and mom name my sister Rose?”

Dad: “because your mother loves Roses”

Son: “oh, ok, thanks Dad”

Dad: “No problem Costco Hotdog”

  • What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

  • What’s a Jew’s favorite brand of hotdog?

Anne Frank’s

  • why aren’t hotdog ads allowed in nascar?

because no-one else would be able to ketchup

  • How does a ghost eat a hotdog?

By goblin it.

Sorry

  • A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand.

And he says to the server “make me one with everything.”
The guy obliges, and hands him a fully loaded hot dog.
The Buddhist pays with a twenty, and doesn’t get any change back.
He asks the stand keeper for his change, and the man responds with “change comes from within”.

  • A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says…

“Make me one with everything.”

Despite this being an overused statement, the vendor serves him a hotdog as he is a customer. When the monk asks if he has 27 cents, the vendor replies “Change comes from within.”

The monk then pulls out a pistol from his robe and shoots the vendor. After this, he states “I have found my inner piece.”

  • Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog?

It was an Oscar Wiener

  • It’s not a real hotdog without ketchup.

That’s how my father describes menstruation.

  • I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place

It’s called “What’s the Wurst That Could Happen?”

  • Grilled some hotdogs and offered my friend one

He said, “No thanks, I’m Jewish.”

I said, “Don’t worry, they’re free.”

  • Computer! What’s the difference between a human and a hotdog?

Beep boop boop… Processing…

  • Are you a 1950’s vintage hotdog toy?

‘Cause you make my weenie whistle

  • Man walks to library

He goes up to the librarian, : “can i have an hotdog?”
Librarian: “sorry sir but this is a library.”
Man: “oh sorry!

“Says quietly”: “can i have an hotdog?”




Sorry for bad english

  • Two dogs meet at a dog park

Very excitedly, the collie asks the poodle: “Heys. You wanna hear a joke? I just made this up at the hotdog stand waiting with my master.”.

The poodle smiles: “Sure thing, shoot.”

The collie smirks his eyes and proudly tells his joke: “How many dachshunds does it take to make a hotdog?”.

The poodle’s smile leaves his face and with concerned eyes the poodle replies:

“Dude! That’s racist!”

  • At a gag gift exchange, I gave a woman a hotdog and a condom

She said “Frankly, I never sausage a small weiner.”

  • I want to start a kosher hotdog company

And call it Anne Franks…

  • I like to name my hotdog “The Moment”…

…so I can relish it

  • Father and his special daughter are driving back to her mom’s.

Father drives past a sign “7/11”
Daughter yells with excitement “Hotdog! Ice-creams”
Father says ” ok we can get a hotdog”
He stops at the 7/11 walks in with the daughter and she yells to the clerk ” Toilet ! Hotdog ice cream!” They clerk quickly hands her the bathroom key as the father checks the hotdog stand and searches the freezer for ice creams only to find none in stock. The clerk tells him ” we get our delivery tomorrow” he says ” ok I’ll just have this frozen coke ” the daughter reappears and says with a very sad face ” hotdog , ice-creams” the father says “what about a frozen coke?” “Nooooo” the special daughter cries as they return to the car.

They continue to the mom’s house as they pass a sign “Gas Cola” The Daughter yells with excitement “Hotdog Ice-creams” . The father pulls over again only to a similar situation and outcome with no hotdogs or ice creams and a daughter asking for a toilet key and returning dejected as he again decides to buy a coke to consoul her.

They continue on they see another sign “Gas hotdogs ice creams” again the daughter screams with excitement . The father who has had 2 cokes and needs to use the bathroom badly stops again . The father runs in and says “bathroom key please ” he passes the daughter yelling Hotdog ice-cream to the clerk. The father makes it to the bathroom and let’s 2 cokes pass,as he does he looks around the toilet cubicle seeing much graffiti and nonsense he looks down and sees a hole and thinks to himself wow a glory hole how funny would it be to do that and see what happens haha he jokes to him self then washes his hands and looks back at the hole and thinks I haven’t been with a women in awhile why not give it ten minutes.

So father puts himself in the hole and waits after a few minutes .. he hears someone enter the next room he takes a deep breath and bam a mouth is there he can’t believe it he thinks oh god I haven’t been with a women in years as he climax he hears a shreik of excitement “HOTDOG” he jumps back and hear a disappoined voice yell “ICE-CREAM”

  • It’s stupid when girls say they can’t find a guy, yet they ignore me.

It’s like saying you’re hungry when there’s a hotdog on the ground outside.

  • What type of dogs are inbred?

Hotdogs

  • What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

  • A man walks into a bar…

A guy walked into a bar and saw a sign that said:

cheeseburgers 3$

hotdogs 5$

handjobs 10$

He goes to the bar and asks the lady “are you the one that gives handjobs” and she said yes, then he replied “well wash your hands I want a cheeseburger

  • Sigmund Freud walks into a bar

Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, “What was that about?” The barman replies. “Pianist envy.”

  • A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.
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The sign reads as follows:


* Nachos $4


* Hamburger $3


* Hotdog $2


* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3


* Grilled Cheese $2


* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50


* Handjob $10


After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, “Are you the one who gives the handjobs?” “Why yes I am.” replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, “Wash your hands! I’d like a hamburger.”

  • Once, at an all boys summer camp, I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone. But that’s not what freaked me out…

…the night before that I dreamed I was in a hotdog eating contest.

  • “Did you just say something?”

“Uhhh nope?”

“Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Good, because I’m vegan.”

  • Three builders are eating lunch on a building they’re working on

It’s about 7 stories up and they’re dangling their feet on the end of the building. The first builder opens his lunch box and sees a tuna sandwich. He said that if his wife packs him a tuna sandwich one more time he’ll jump off the building. The second building opens his lunch box and sees a hotdog. He said if his wife packs him a hotdog one more time he’ll jump off the building too. The third builder opens his lunch box and sees some sushi. He said if he gets sushi one more time he’ll jump of the building as well. Then came the next day and they opened their lunch boxes. The first builder opens his lunch and gets a tuna sandwich, the second builder gets a hotdog, and the third builder gets sushi. They all jumped off the building and died. A week later at the funeral the wife of the first builder was crying and said if she knew he didn’t like tuna sandwiches I wouldn’t have packed him one. The wife of the second builder is crying and she said that if she knew he didn’t like hotdogs she wouldn’t have packed him one. The wife of the third builder isn’t crying and the two ladies asked her why she wasn’t crying. The wife of the third builder replies and says that he packs his own lunch.

  • The thermos. [Long]

A guy (MAN A) walks into a diner, sits down, and pulls a thermos from his backpack. Across the room, a man at the counter, (MAN B) noticed the man.

MAN B: “Hey you! What you got there?”

MAN A: “It’s called a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot, and cold stuff cold!”

MAN B: “Wow! I gotta get me one of those!!!”

The next day, the same to men, (A and B) walk into the same diner.

MAN B: “Hey look! I picked me up one of those thermos things!”

MAN A: “Great! What did you bring for lunch?”

MAN B: “2 hotdogs and a popsicle for dessert!”

  • Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?

A: It was an Oscar Wiener.

  • Q: What do you call a hot dog race?

A: Wiener takes all.

  • Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog?

A: After a very frank relationship.

  • Q: What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?

A: Make me one with everything.

  • Q: What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog?

A: You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.

  • Q: What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog?

A: Stop touching my buns!

  • Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?

A: A “hollow-weenie!”

  • Q: What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?

A: A hot, diggety dog.

  • Q: What does a man consider a seven-course meal?

A: A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

  • Q: Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture?

A: None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.

  • Q: Why doesn’t Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs?

A: He can’t find the zipper

  • Q: What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?

A: A hot dog.

  • Q: What do you call a frozen frankfurter?

A: A Chili dog.

  • Q: Why are hot dogs angry?

A: Because they are always getting roasted.

  • Q: Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup?

A: Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.

  • Q: What do you call a dog with a fever?

A: A hot dog.

  • Q: What has 100 teeth and eats wieners?

A: A zipper!

  • Q: What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?

A: Ketch-up!

  • Q: Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog?

A: Because she wanted a chili dog.

  • Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?

A: Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog. Do you sell hot dogs? Cause you know how to make a wiener stand. Never make eye contact while eating a hot dog.

  • Free Beer

Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get beer for free. They only had a dollar in change between them. “I’ve got it, follow me.” said the first man. They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun. “We’ll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I’ll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off.” The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds. When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer. The bartender tells them, “That will be four dollars.” The first man stands up and upzips his fly. The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog. “You faggots!” screams the bartender. “Get the hell out of here!” They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out. After the sixth bar the second man complains, “Man this isn’t working out so well, My knees are killing me!” “You think you’ve had it bad,” the first man exclaims. “I lost the hotdog four bars ago!”

  • Doctors Office

A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A hot dog in one of his ears, a pretzel in the other ear, and a nacho chip in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

  • God Is Watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs.”

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