TOP 150+ BEST FUNNY FISH JOKES COLLECTION

Find The Best Funny Fish Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Fish Jokes Collection For This Week.

  • Girlfriend

Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

  • If you can think of a better fish pun..

let minnow.

  • What do you call 5 fish cut in half?

Tuna half.

  • Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says:

“I don’t know how to drive this thing.”

  • What did the fish say after it swam into a wall?

Damn

  • fishing is like girlfriends

There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I’m stuck here holding my rod

  • What do fish get high on?

Seaweed.

  • My kids have been wanting a Beta fish

So we went to the pet store, but they told us it was stuck in development. …. I’ll see myself out

  • A traveler stopped at a monastery and they invited him to stay for a delicious dinner of fish and chips.

After dinner he went in the kitchen and asked a guy “Are you the fish friar?” and the guy said “No I’m the chip monk.”

  • What kind of STD’s do fish get?

Merm-aids

  • How does an old timey 1930s era gangster threaten a jelly fish?

“You’re see, through!”

  • With the threat of the new coralvirus, who did the fish put in charge of finding a cure?

The Sturgeon General

  • I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,”If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked.

“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said..”I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, “Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.”

  • What kind of a fish is made of only two sodium atoms

2 Na

  •  (From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?

Bait-a fish.

  • What’s the difference between a piano, fish and a glue stick?

You can’t tune a glue stick.

  • I once had a pet fish that could breakdance on the carpet

He died doing what he loved

  • I just started reading fishing jokes

Now I’m hooked.

  • Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and he says…

Dam

  • I saw this fisherman lose an absolutely epic fish and he started crying inconsolably.

I told him “Never mind, mate. Plenty more women on the land”.

  • A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a very small head

After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, “hey, I don’t mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head?”

The guy replies, “well it’s a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on a deserted island. After several months on this deserted island, a beautiful mermaid suddenly appeared and granted me three wishes. My first wish is that I’d like to be rescued from this island I told her”

To which the Mermaid said, “tomorrow a rescue boat will find you”

“My second wish is that I’d like to be rich for the rest of my days”

The Mermaid said, “invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man… And what is your final wish?”

“Well Mermaid, you know I’ve been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I’d wish for nothing more than to sleep with you”

The Mermaid sighed and said, “I cannot grant you that wish, you see I’m a half fish, it would not work”

Frustrated, the man said, “Well how about a little head then?”

  • What do you call a fish that performs surgery in freshwater?

Lake sturgeon.

What kind of fish lets you borrow money?

A loan shark

  • I made my fish listen to an Eminem album…

…now he’s Swim Shady.

  • Old man and fishing

Yesterday I watched an old man fishing in a puddle outside our neighborhood bar. So I invited him in and bought him a beer..I thought I would humor the old man and ask him how many fish had he caught today. The old man replied, “you’re the eighth.”

  • What do fish wear on their fins?

Glubs

  • I read on the news today that a guy caught a fish they thought was extinct…

and now they’re *sure*.

  • Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, “There are no fish under the ice.” Ole and Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, “There are no fish under the ice.” They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, “Are you God?” The voice spoke back, “No ya idiots! I’m the ice rink attendant.”

  • I have six goldfish named Major, Minor, Flat Nine, Bebop, Altered, and Blues.

The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.

  • Fishes just finished it’s box office run

It flopped.

  • Why are fish never overweight?

Why are fish never overweight? They carry their scales with them.

  • What happened when a fisherman saw that they spent more on missing fishing equipment than they made selling fish?

They realized a net loss.

  • TWO men go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment.

The reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day that they go fishing, they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their holiday, one of the men catches one fish.

As they are driving home they both feel quite glum.

One guy turns to the other and says: “Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us 1500 bucks?”

The other guy says: “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more.”

  • If I make an app for fly fishing

Is that considered a streaming app?

  • How do you catch a cursor fish?

click bait

  • A Man Decides to go Ice Fishing

One day, a man decides to go ice fishing. He grabs his gear and heads out onto the ice. Once he finds a suitable spot he cuts a large hole in the ice and sits down.

An hour passes and he still hasn’t caught anything. Another hour passes, and then another, and still no fish. Suddenly the man hears a voice from the sky. “There are no fish under the ice.” Hearing this, the man shrugs, gathers his gear and heads to a new spot a few yards away. He cuts another hole in the ice and continues fishing.

Another two hours pass and still the man hasn’t caught a single fish. And again he hears a voice from the sky. “There are no fish, under the ice.” This time the man looks up and says “Is that you God?” The voice responds “No it’s the Ice Rink Manager.”

– Papa

My grandfather passed away today and this was his favorite joke. Thanks for reading.

  • Give a man a Fish..

Give a man a fish, and he won’t see you dump the body in the lake.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll be the only one at the crime scene when the police arrive..

  • What do you call a fish looking for cancer treatment.
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Finding chemo.

  • What’s the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it dies

  • What kind of sandwich does a fish like to eat?

A “gilled” cheese.

I’m sorry. But a joke is a joke.

  • What do you call a North Korean fish?

Kim Jong Gill

  • What do you call a fish who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject, or pastime?

An aficionado!

  • You know, if someone makes one more fish pun

I’m gonna krill myself

  • There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, “Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that.”
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, “That’s the spirit dad. Pass those f**king potatoes!”

  • A guy goes fishing out of season and gets caught

So this guy goes fishing out of season for some delicious endangered fish he read about.
After a long day with no luck he finally snags one on the line. He gets it in the boat and sure enough the fishery officer who was watching from afar puts on his lights and motors his police boat over.
“I’ve caught you red handed poaching that fish” said the officer.
“I did no such thing, this is my pet fish, and he can do all kinds of tricks to prove it”
“Like what”? Exclaimed the officer
“Well he can do a double backflip when he jumps out of the water” shrugged the man.
“Prove it” the officer said with his curiosity peaking.
The man then placed the fish into the water where it immediately swam out of sight.
“Well let’s see your fish do some tricks”! Said the officer.
“What fish”? Asked the man.

  • Three guys out in a fishing boat together got struck by lightning and killed.

When they arrived at the pearly gate St. Peter met them. He approached Joe first and introduced him to a homely woman a said this will be your mate for eternity to fulfill your every need. Joe said ok, but why not a pretty girl? St. Peter got out his book and searched, hmmmm, yes,hmm hmm, ok hum and closed the book. “ Joe it seems in life you were good but not that good”.

Then it was Bobs turn. St. Peter introduces him to an ugly woman to fulfill his every wish for eternity.
Like Joe, Bob asked what was with the ugly woman? St Peter searched the book again, hmm hmmm unhuh right. “Bob it seems in life you were good but not that good”

Then Fred stepped up. St. Peter introduces him to a beautiful young lady. Joe an Bob were floored and immediately asked St. Peter what the deal was. St.Peter again picks up the book, humm ok hum yes yes hum and closes the book.
It seems in life that she was good but….

  • What do fish talk on?

Their shell phone

  • I tried ordering fishing gear on amazon, but it was a scam

Oh my Rod, it was Click Bait!

  • When lawyers go fishing, why do they throw back the sharks?

Professional curteousy.

  • My local coastline has been so overfished that during 30 minutes of snorkeling I saw only a single fish.

It was the sole survivor.

  • Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day

Give a man a head of romaine lettuce and you’ll feed him for the rest of his life

  • What did the fish say when it got into masochism?

I’m hooked

  • Whenever I go out fishing with my girls…

I catch fish really quickly and really well

They say I am the Master-Baiter

  • Why was the school of fish so small?

They were all playing hookie

  • If I were to win the World Fishing Championship

Would I then be the Master Baiter?

  • Alan takes his wife fishing

On a usual trip he catches 10-15 fish. He’s gobsmacked when the pair of them manage a haul of over 100! He decided to enter them both into the local fishing competition.

The day of the competition rolls around, and each of the Anglers take it in turns. The first man is a big beefy lad, and he catches 5 fish.

The second is a woman in her 30s, typical american heroine- plaid jacket, shotgun in the ‘Trunk’ (imitation of course but she brags that its real) and platinum blonde hair. She manages to catch 17 fish, and it looks like the competition is already over.

Finally, Alan is up. As usual, he only catches 15 fish, which is still good for him. He walks past his competitors, beaming.

“Why are you so happy?” They ask him.

“My wife is up next, and she’s sure to win!”

The other competitors laugh, they’ve seen his wife. Shes in her 50s, tight permed hair and with a little apron, the pinnacle of domesticity, looking like she’s never fished in her life.

To their surprise, she catches 250 fish! The competition is called off due to concerns for local wildlife, and everyone is clamouring around Alan and his wife.

A reporter from the local paper wants to do a story on the amazing event and says “who are you amazing Anglers?”

“I’m Alan, and this is my Wife.”

“And what’s her name?”

“Annette”

  • Just been fly fishing

Caught a lovely blue bottle

  • What country do fish come from?

Fin-land

  • Why does no one like fish merchants?

Because they selfish.

  • What do you call a fake koi fish?

A dekoi

  • What type of military vehicle to fish go to war in?

A fish tank

  • A boy is selling fish..

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!”

A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'”

The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.

The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish.

Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f\*cking potatoes!”

  • What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

  • I am a type of fish that becomes SO loud in Sweden. Who am I?

Yellyfish.

  •  (As told by a 10 year old) A white cat goes fishing in the sea and falls in. He’s struggling to stay afloat until a red cat jumps in to save him. What’s the first thing red cat says to white cat?

Meow.

  • My dad and I disagree on the way fish move.

But I don’t see the point in arguing over salmon ticks.

  • What’s the difference between a lawyer and a cat fish?

One is a slimy bottom feeder and the other one is a fish.

  • What do you call a fish stuffed with candy?

A fiñata.

^I’m ^sorry

  • What do you call a fish that can’t stop sneezing?

Achoona Fish

  • The other day I took my Grandma to one of those spas where the little fish eat your dead skin

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery

  • I was going fishing with an American friend of mine.

I asked him if he was going to bring his gun.

– No, why would I? – he answered.

– So, schools of fish don’t count?

  • I drew a large picture of a small skinned fish.

It’s not a scale drawing

  • Ned and Fred Go Fishing

Ned and Fred rent a row boat to go fishing. It costs $20 for five hours to rent the boat. For the first four hours, they row around the lake but find no fish. Finally, at the last hour, they find the prefect spot and catch a lot of fish. Fred tells Ned “Mark this spot so that next time we don’t waste hours looking for fish.” Ned agrees.

On the way home, in the car, Fred asks Ned, “So, you remembered to mark that spot?”

Ned replies, “Yup, I put a big X on the bottom of the row boat!”

Fred hollers back “You IDIOT!, what if we can’t rent the same boat!”

  • if a group of fish is called a school
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if one leaves, is he called a drop out?

  • Why was the hipster fish late to the party?

Because he didn’t take the mainstream.

  • Studies show that keeping tropical fish at home has a calming effect on your brain.

It’s because of all the indoor fins.

  • What were the last words of the fish at the AA meeting?

“Hello, I’m the fish and I’m dry.”

  • Why did the fish accept its death after losing its respiratory organs?

Because it lost the gill to live.

  • Why did the police suspect the fish sold drugs?

Because they noticed he had a lot of small scales with him.

  • A man is illegally fishing

So a man is illegally fishing for 2 hours, at this point he has a bucket full of fish and he’s still fishing, out of nowhere a cop comes in and tells him

“You know you can’t fish here right? It’s illegal, I’m gonna have to arrest you.”

The man hides the pole and replies:

“Oh no no those are my pet fish I just come here every week or so drop them in the pond and once they are done swimming they jump back in and I go home”


At this point the officer smirks, he knows he’s lying, so he says:

Well then show me, if you can truly show me that they will do that then I’ll let you go.”

The man agrees and dumbs the fish into the pond, 2 minutes pass


The officer says:

“So when are the fish jumping back in the bucket?”

The man replies:
“What fish?”

  • What does a fish say when it runs into a brick wall?

 Dam

A man was ice-fishing, busily drilling his first hole of the day, when a loud voice called from above, “There are no fish down there”. Hmmm, thought the man, who quickly relocated to a spot 20 feet away and started drilling into the ice. Again, the voice called, “There are no fish down there”. Again the man moved and started his drilling. For the third time, the voice bellowed, “There are no fish down there”. The man, now completely confused, yelled over his shoulder, “God, I appreciate your help, but why do you care if I catch any fish?” The voice replied, “This isn’t God stupid, its the rink manager.”

  • How do you catch a unique zebrafish?

Unique up on it.

  • How do you catch a tame zebrafish?

Tame way, unique up on it.

  • Why did the fish cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide.

A fisherman was having a successful day of fishing without a liscense when the ranger came up, saw a bucket full of nice trout, and asked to see his fishing liscense. “Oh, I’m not fishing sir, these are my pet fish. I’m just bringing them out for some exercise.” “Exercise?” the ranger said skeptically. “Sure, I bring them down to the creek, let them out for a little swim, then they come back and jump in the bucket and we go home.” “Hmm, can you show me” “Sure” said the fisherman as he dumped the fish into the creek. A few minutes later the ranger said “OK, let’s see your fish jump back in the bucket” “What fish?” asked our fisherman.

  • How do you catch an electric eel?

Use a ligthning rod.

  • Fisherwoman. Is this river good for trout?

Fisherman. Must be, I can’t catch any.

  • Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?

He thought it was a wishing whale.

  • Why did the whale eat two ships full of potatos?

Because no one can eat just one potato ship.

  • Q. Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?

She wanted to make a fish stick.

  • Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

fish

  • Q. What do you call a fish with two knees?

Tunyfish

  • Q. What do you call a fish with cable?

Telefishion

  • What did the fish say when he posted bail?

“I’m off the hook!”

  • Why don’t fish like basketball?

Cause they’re afraid of the net

  • Which fish can perform operations?

A Sturgeon!

  • What do you call a fish with a tie?

soFISHticated

  • What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?

A Loan shark!

  • How do you make an Octupus laugh?

With ten-tickles

  • Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?

Just for the halibut!

  • Why don’t fish play basketball?

Because there afraid of the net.

  • What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships.

  • What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?

Autotuna

  • Who do fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

  • What is the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.

  • Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her?

To fish for compliments.

  • What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

  • What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall?

Damn!

  • Whats the best way to catch a fish?

Have some one throw it at you.

  • How do you make a fish laugh?

Tell a whale of a tale.

  • What happens when you drink like a fish?

You piss like a fire hose.

  • Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink?

Just Squidding.

  • What does the pope eat during lent?

Holy mackerel!

  • Why don’t fish pass their exams?

Because they work below C-Level.

  • Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

  • What do you call a lazy crayfish?

Slobster

  • How do shellfish get to the hospital?

In a clambulance.

  • Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A Mer-Maid

  • Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the oceans bottom.

  • Why do oysters go to the gym?

It’s good for the mussel.

  • Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?

Now he’s a bronze fish.

  • How did the fish find the World Wide Web?

In a Net.

  • What happens when you put nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

  • What did the magician say to the fisherman?

Pick a cod, any cod!

  • Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen?

A fish got battered.

  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Tentacles.

  • How does a seahorse quickly get from one place to another?

He scallops!

  • Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?

He pulled a muscle

  • What do you call a fish that knows addition?

An Octoplus.

  • How do fish travel long distances?

They whale (hail) a cab.

  • What do you call a fish with two knees?
  • A tunee fish.
  • What party game do fish like to play?

 Salmon Says.

  • Why are fish such intelligent creatures?

Because they swim in schools!

  • What fish goes up the river at 100mph?

A motor pike!

  • How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything!

  • What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

  • What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible!

  • Why did the whale cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

  • Where do women keep their money when underwater?

In a octurpurse.

  • Where are most fish found?

Between the head and the tail!

  • Why don’t lobsters ever pay retail?

Because they are Sale-fish.

  • Where do fish sleep?

In a water bed.

  • How does an octopus go to war?

Well-armed!

  • Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

On squid row!

  • What kind of fish plays the guitar?

Bassist

  • What do you call an underwater transformer?

Octopus Prime.

  • What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?

Monkfish!

  • How do you keep a fish from smelling?
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Cut off his nose.

  • What bit of fish doesn’t make sense?

The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

  • What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?

A fish tank!

  • What do you call a smelly fish?

A stink ray.

  • What was the Tsar of Russia’s favorite fish?

Tsardines!

  • What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

  • Why are gold fish orange?

The water makes them rusty!

  • Who held the baby octopus to ransome?

Squidnappers!

  • What part of a fish weighs the most?

It’s scales!

  • What fish do road-menders use?

Pneumatic krill!

  • What is a trouts main job?

To keep his daughter off the pole.

  • What do fish need to stay healthy?

Vitamin Sea.

  • Boy: Have u ever been fishing before?

Girl: Why?

Boy: I think we should hook up!

  • What happens when sharks take their clothes off?

They go sharkers!

  • What do you call a fish that destroys Japan?

Codzilla.

  • What game do fish like playing the most?

Name that tuna!

  • Who keeps the ocean clean?

A mermaid.

  • Where do fish go to do yoga?

The river bend

  • Where do fishes work?

The Offish

  • What do naked fish play with?

Bare-a-cudas!

  • What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon?

An electric shark!

  • What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fssshh

  • Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

  • Have you heard about the Sauna that serves food?

Their specialty is steamed mussels.

  • What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show?

Whale of fortune!

  • Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

To the prawn broker!

  • What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?

The Codfather!

  • What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw!

  • Where do fish wash?

In a river basin!

  • What fish only swims at night?

A starfish!

  • What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

Snappy answers.

  • How do fish go into business?

The start on a small scale!

  • Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish!

  • Have you ever heard of the gold fish that went bankrupt?

Now he’s a bronze fish

  • What do you get when you cross a mink with an octopus?

 A coat of arms.

  • Which day do fish hate?

Fry-day!

  • What do you call a fish that can give you a face-lift?

A plastic Sturgeon.

  • What kind of fish only swims in hot oil?

Fish Sticks.

  • What did the people say when they were waiting for the dolphins to jump?

Water they waiting for!

  • What kind of fish chase mice?

Catfish.

  • What do you call a talking crustacean?

Holy Crab.

  • What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

 Drop it a line!

  • What is the most expensive kind of fish?

a goldfish

  • Why did the fish go to Hollywood?

 He wanted to be a starfish!

  • What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

  • What do you call an underwater social network?

Fishbook

  • Where do you weigh whales?

At a whale weigh station!

  • How did the marine mollusk get into college?

Apparently it got in on a scallopship!

  • What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?

A seahorse! Me:

  • When you look at your fish sticks what do you see?

Friend: I just seafood (see food)

  • Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Fish! F

ish who?

Bless you.

  • Ice Fishing

A newfie went ice fishing.

Heard a voice.” There’s no fish there”

Gets up, goes a few feet further. Digs a hole and starts fishing again.

Again, he hears the voice.

“There’s no fish there”

Newfie looks up, is that you Lord

No, said the voice.

“Its the Manager of the Arena.”

  • Scale

Why are fish 🐟 easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

  • Ex

 I was walking down the street when i thought i smelled my ex’s perfume, turns out i was standing in front of a fish market.

  •  Sea

What do fish 🐟 take to stay healthy ?

Vitamin Sea.

  •  People

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

  •   Puns

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? – Because they have their own scales.

 

  •   Sea

What did the fish 🐟 get on his math test?

A sea plus.

  •   Difference

What’s the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?

The fish can swim

  •   America

Two fish walked in to a wall one said to the other “dam”

  •   Puns

What is the most popular fish in the ocean? A star fish

Guy 1:”Tell me a bad pun” Guy 2: “Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue” Guy 1: “Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference” Guy 2: ” you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna” Guy 1: “Ok where does the glue come in” Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

you might be

  •   WALL

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam. What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

  •   Fish

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

  •   Titanic

I wonder if the titanic still sells fish?

  •   Water

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!

  • Night

What kind of fish comes out at night ?

A starfish.

  •   Arms

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fish with no eyes.

  • Puns

I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? – “Oh, dam.”

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: “Hey, how do you drive this thing?”

******

Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

Nick: Beats me.

Max: Something catchy!

******

Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock?

Rick: I don’t know. What?

Matt: A hook, line and stinker!

******

Superboy: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?

Superman: Why?

Superboy: Because Robin ate all the worms!

******

Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?

Jill: Search me. Why?

Jack: He had only two worms.

******

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?

Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!

******

Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?

Danielle: I’m stumped.

Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

******

Ben: Where do goldfish go on vacation?

Bob: Where?

Ben: Around the globe!

******

Aaron: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?

Pee Wee: I don’t know. How?

Aaron: By golf carp!

******

Jaylun: Why do fish swim in schools?

Ray: I don’t know.

Jaylun: Because they can’t walk!

******

Allen: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?

Neal: I don’t know. Why?

Allen: Because they have their own scales!

******

Mark: Where do fish keep their money?

Kevin: Where?

Mark: In a riverbank.

******

Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?

Russ: I don’t know.

Thomas: Drop it a line!

******

Maurice: Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?

Denise: Where?

Maurice: The bobber shop.

******

Ben: What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?

Morgan: What?

******

Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?

Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.

******

John: What is a fish’s favorite show?

Don: What?

John: “Name That Tuna.”

******

Tom: What does every fisherman want?

Terry: What?

Tom: A gillfriend.

******

A.J.: Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?

Nico: No, what happened?

A.J.: Two fish got battered!

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